USA (MNN) — Have you ever heard the term “codependency?”
“It is an unhealthy emotional reliance on others for our self-worth or our identity,” Brandon Bower with The Lighthouse says, adding, “codependency can be in any relationship where we’re finding self-worth in someone else.”
Staff at The Lighthouse often encounter codependency as they help people overcome life-altering addictions through biblical counseling. Learn more about The Lighthouse’s approach to overcoming addiction.
“People with addictions often have codependent people in their lives. For example, there was a gentleman we were helping whose dad was a police officer. Every time he got in trouble, Dad helped it get pushed under the rug,” Bower says.
“After like, four or five DUIs, the judge finally looked at him and said, ‘You’re going to jail for a very long time,’ which was shocking, because dad was shielding him from the consequences to protect dad’s identity and self-worth.”
If someone we love has an addiction, it can be easy to focus entirely on their behavior. Sometimes, we also need to change ourselves.
(Photo by Joey Theswampboi/Pexels)
“If we’re helping someone else live in their addiction, we are part of the problem,” Bower notes.
“We’ve got to love them enough to have good boundaries and say ‘no’ so they can come across the consequences of their actions, rather than protecting them and ourselves in the process.”
Thankfully, help is only a few clicks away. “Just go to Google and type in ‘biblical counselor’ or ‘pastoral counselor in my area,’” Bower says.
“This is a common thing that biblical counselors will deal with, helping people find their self-worth and validation in Christ.”
Pray that people who are struggling with codependency can release their need for control and submit their wills to Christ. Pray they find fulfilment in Jesus alone.
“Scripture tells us to seek our satisfaction in Christ, so we are dabbling in that codependency world when I’m looking to my wife to meet my deepest needs instead of my savior, when I’m looking at my children to live the life that I never lived, to get satisfaction,” Bower says.
Header image is a representative stock photo courtesy of Kati/Pixabay.
